The Story of Tables and Chairs

In the world of bridge, everyone knows there are tables and chairs.

But did you know tables look down on chairs ?

Tables are snob, that's something I've learned in a recent tournament. One afternoon, I played in a 3-way and my team lost. That evening, a player asked another player (member of the team that had beat us) :

"Who did you beat this afternoon?"
"8 chairs," was the response.

That is when I learned that tables don't have a very high opinion of chairs.

Well, the night after that, this TABLE arrived at my chair (what can I say ?).

First board:
TABLE's partner opened 1♦ Precision, and all passed.
My chair lead a diamond and we collected 12 out of 18 for down 2.

Second board:
My chair opened 1NT and it went pass, pass, 2♥ (hearts and spades).
I passed, the TABLE passed and my partner doubled. The chairs defended well, sitting on their tricks (what can one do to a chair ?) and earned 16/18.

Third board:
TABLE's partner tried a curve ball that didn't curve. How can a flat table think of throwing a curve ball?



When the curve ball pitcher bid 5♣, the TABLE, who should have passed on 4♥, unless he takes his partner for a chair, took a very aggressive tone. With the years, chairs have been able to understand the TABLE's language.

"You have no right to bid. Once you bid 2♠, it's my show, you're out of the picture."

The chairs collected 15/18, for a total of 43 out of 54 matchpoints.

The TABLE left his chair (oops!) without saying a word. A TABLE hates looking like a chair.

Chairs of the world, beware: don't let one victory go to your head and make you think you are a TABLE.