In the world of bridge, everyone knows there are tables and chairs.
But did you know tables look down on chairs ?
Tables are snob, that's something I've learned in a recent tournament.
One afternoon, I played in a 3-way and my team lost. That evening, a
player asked another player (member of the team that had beat us) :
"Who did you beat this afternoon?"
"8 chairs," was the response.
That is when I learned that tables don't have a very high opinion of
Well, the night after that, this TABLE arrived at my chair (what can I
TABLE's partner opened 1♦
Precision, and all passed.
My chair lead a diamond and we collected 12 out of 18 for down 2.
My chair opened 1NT and it went pass, pass, 2♥ (hearts and spades).
I passed, the TABLE passed and my partner doubled. The chairs defended
well, sitting on their tricks (what can one do to a
chair ?) and earned 16/18.
TABLE's partner tried a curve ball that didn't curve. How can a flat
table think of throwing a curve ball?
When the curve ball pitcher bid 5♣, the TABLE, who should have passed
on 4♥, unless he
takes his partner for a chair, took a very
aggressive tone. With the years, chairs have been able to understand
the TABLE's language.
"You have no right to bid. Once you bid 2♠, it's my show, you're out of
The chairs collected 15/18, for a total of 43 out of 54 matchpoints.
The TABLE left his chair (oops!) without saying a
word. A TABLE hates looking like a chair.
Chairs of the world, beware: don't let one victory go to your head and
make you think you are a TABLE.
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