You have:
While you are still counting your points, your partner opens 1♠!
You have learned to stay calm when big hands occur, so you bid 2♥. No problem, it
is forcing. Partner responds 3♣, conventional, a brilliant
treatment from Eric Kokish, the premier bridge coach and bidding wizard
in the world. Here are all the responses possible when opener
has a heart fit.
4♥ = 5-4 in majors,
2-2 in minors, no Ace no King in minors, so you know right away
if you have 2 losers somewhere. Quick, informative,
economical.
4♣/4♦ = splinter
with 4 card heart fit
3♥ = fit, not the 4♥, nor the 4♣/4♦ hand
3♣ = can be natural, 5 cards, good hand or 3 card heart fit with a
singleton in a minor.
After 3♣, responder bids 3♦
to enquire. Responses :
3♥ = heart fit,
singleton ♣
3♠ = heart fit, singleton ♦
3N = 5 card club suit, no heart fit, good hand
Here is the sequence we had.
As responder, your hand is getting better and better. This ♣
singleton is good news.
We continue:
Now you know enough as responder, so you go for RKCB. Opener
shows 2 without the queen, heart is trumps obviously. Time to
stop and count.
Opener has Ace of hearts, Ace of diamonds and singleton club.
That is only 8 points. She could have Jack of spades, Jack of hearts,
10
points. Thus she needs Queen of diamonds to get to 12
points. If she doesnt have one of the Jacks in majors, she
should have the Jack of diamonds. Or she could have the
useless Jack of clubs.
With the double fit and all the aces, you are able to count to 13
tricks: 5 spades, 5 hearts, AK of diamonds and Ace of clubs, 13
tricks. But… one of the majors could break 4-1 and you don’t
have 13 tricks anymore. So you should play in one major in
order to be able to establish the other major if it breaks
4-1. Which major will you choose?
With AKQ in spades, partner is a favorite to hold Jxxxx in spades.
You know she has Axx in hearts, but does she have AJx?
You are still there, thinking, counting, trying to take the optimal
decision.
Are there other factors you should consider?
Well yes, extraneous factors in fact, but of paramount
importance.
Who is your partner?
As a matter of fact, you are playing with your wife. Not
important, you say? Think again!
I had a partner once who, in a slam forcing sequence, saw his wife
passed 4nt. Considerate as he was, he managed to make only 10
tricks, so she would not feel bad. When he told me that
story, he added: I would not be able to do that today, I would get
blasted by her after that for treating her as inferior.
So you are playing with your wife and, well, I must add another twist:
today is her birthday!
Still not important, you say? Very, very, very important, I
say.
So what do you do? Do you adopt your usual manly attitude and
bid 7♥, on the
principle that you are a better player than she is?
What if you go down???
Or you'll let her play 7♠, as a gift for her birthday and a mark of
confidence?
I bid 7♠. She was understandably startled, as from her first
bid, she never knew I had a spade fit.
Did they live happily ever after, you wonder? Yes. All majors behaved
and she scored 2210. Happy Birthday!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
The Big Cat With 99 Lives
How do you become a great card
player? Well, firstly, bad bidding will surely help; another
good way is to forget what you play, and end up in ridiculous
contracts. But, as we say in French, "le ridicule ne tue
pas".
A third way is for the opponents to let themselves get hypnotised by a big cat, just because he is a big cat. I have seen Boris Baran survive so many impossible contracts, that I have come to think of him as a great big cat, not with 9 lives, but rather with 99 lives. Boris Baran has big claws and radiating presence: when he sits at the bridge table, he comes to play. He is also known to have psychic powers, and he is thus able to hypnotise opponents (who want to be hypnotised, by the way, like the poor little bird in the eye of the cat, or the deer at night that just jumps in front of your car). Some victims want to stay victims (it is easier).
In the quarter finals of the Canadian National Team Championships 1998, I witnessed this hand.
The auction:
Some explanations. Double showed a four-card major and a five-card minor suit. 2♣ was Stayman, and 2♠ said "I have four spades and an invitational hand, or four spades with a long minor suit and a weak hand."
On 2♠, opener passes with a minimum and four little spades or three good spades (KQx); with two spades and a minimum, opener bids 2NT; responder then passes with the invitational hand with four spades or bids his long minor suit with the weak hand, to play.
If opener has a maximum and four spades, he bids 3♠; responder then bids 4♠ with the invitational hand and passes with the weak hand. If opener has a maximum without four spades, he bids 3♣, artificial; responder with the invitational hand can now bid 3NT; if responder has the weak hand with a long minor, he passes 3♣ or corrects to 3♦, to play. Really a very nice treatment (by Eric Kokish, I think).
On 2♠, Mark Molson alerted on his side of the panel; Boris bid 3♣ (natural !? - he had forgotten his agreement on this sequence) and did not alert. When the auction was over, Boris woke up and said that he should have alerted 3♣; West then said he would have doubled 3♣, Molson then said he would have bid 3NT anyway, and that was that. Boris then told West, the 3♣ doubler, that he was on lead; West then woke up himself and realised he had doubled 3♣ to tell himself to lead clubs, which he did. And the "Big Cat with 99 Lives" examined his options.
On a Diamond lead, there would be no story. How do you become a bad defender? Firstly, not listening to the bidding will surely help. If West had asked what 3♣ was, he would have learned that Boris (who had forgotten his agreement, remember) had bid naturally, so he would have lead the unbid suit, Diamonds. But...
On the small club lead, Boris looked a long time at dummy, probably trying to figure out how many lives he had already spent playing and making impossible contracts. Could he survive yet again and fall on his feet? Well, the lead seemed friendly, Boris ducked in dummy and now the bad news: East discarded a diamond.
Count your tricks: two hearts, one diamond and three clubs equals six tricks!! You need three more; where will they come from? Boris won in hand, played a club to the king, and called for a heart. East played low and Boris inserted the 10, what else? HE NEEDS TRICKS! The 10 won, he is up to seven tricks : three hearts, one diamond and three clubs. Boris now thought for a long time, a very long time, toyed with the King of spades, then the nine, then the King again. He decided on the nine of spades and ran it! East won with the queen, and came back with the queen of hearts.
With the heart return, you could sense the Big Cat starting to breathe a little: he had a chance to put his claws on yet another impossible contract, just because he is a thinking cat. Boris won and played the king of spades, ducked all around (long pause by West). Boris then ducked a diamond to East, who came back a third heart. Boris won (West discarding a club), played a diamond to the Ace, and announced he would endplay West, making three. The whole hand:
The position after the ace of diamond (lead in dummy, two tricks lost so far):
A club to the ace and another club put West in hand for a beautiful stepping-stone ending:
West has to play a spade to dummy for the ninth trick of this impossible contract: two spades, three hearts, one diamond and three clubs. The defence made two spades, one diamond and one club.
The Big Cat withdrew his claws and smiled at me: "Beautiful hand", he said. East commented that Boris had no play from the start! Boris laughed like a kid.
A third way is for the opponents to let themselves get hypnotised by a big cat, just because he is a big cat. I have seen Boris Baran survive so many impossible contracts, that I have come to think of him as a great big cat, not with 9 lives, but rather with 99 lives. Boris Baran has big claws and radiating presence: when he sits at the bridge table, he comes to play. He is also known to have psychic powers, and he is thus able to hypnotise opponents (who want to be hypnotised, by the way, like the poor little bird in the eye of the cat, or the deer at night that just jumps in front of your car). Some victims want to stay victims (it is easier).
In the quarter finals of the Canadian National Team Championships 1998, I witnessed this hand.
The auction:
Some explanations. Double showed a four-card major and a five-card minor suit. 2♣ was Stayman, and 2♠ said "I have four spades and an invitational hand, or four spades with a long minor suit and a weak hand."
On 2♠, opener passes with a minimum and four little spades or three good spades (KQx); with two spades and a minimum, opener bids 2NT; responder then passes with the invitational hand with four spades or bids his long minor suit with the weak hand, to play.
If opener has a maximum and four spades, he bids 3♠; responder then bids 4♠ with the invitational hand and passes with the weak hand. If opener has a maximum without four spades, he bids 3♣, artificial; responder with the invitational hand can now bid 3NT; if responder has the weak hand with a long minor, he passes 3♣ or corrects to 3♦, to play. Really a very nice treatment (by Eric Kokish, I think).
On 2♠, Mark Molson alerted on his side of the panel; Boris bid 3♣ (natural !? - he had forgotten his agreement on this sequence) and did not alert. When the auction was over, Boris woke up and said that he should have alerted 3♣; West then said he would have doubled 3♣, Molson then said he would have bid 3NT anyway, and that was that. Boris then told West, the 3♣ doubler, that he was on lead; West then woke up himself and realised he had doubled 3♣ to tell himself to lead clubs, which he did. And the "Big Cat with 99 Lives" examined his options.
On a Diamond lead, there would be no story. How do you become a bad defender? Firstly, not listening to the bidding will surely help. If West had asked what 3♣ was, he would have learned that Boris (who had forgotten his agreement, remember) had bid naturally, so he would have lead the unbid suit, Diamonds. But...
On the small club lead, Boris looked a long time at dummy, probably trying to figure out how many lives he had already spent playing and making impossible contracts. Could he survive yet again and fall on his feet? Well, the lead seemed friendly, Boris ducked in dummy and now the bad news: East discarded a diamond.
Count your tricks: two hearts, one diamond and three clubs equals six tricks!! You need three more; where will they come from? Boris won in hand, played a club to the king, and called for a heart. East played low and Boris inserted the 10, what else? HE NEEDS TRICKS! The 10 won, he is up to seven tricks : three hearts, one diamond and three clubs. Boris now thought for a long time, a very long time, toyed with the King of spades, then the nine, then the King again. He decided on the nine of spades and ran it! East won with the queen, and came back with the queen of hearts.
With the heart return, you could sense the Big Cat starting to breathe a little: he had a chance to put his claws on yet another impossible contract, just because he is a thinking cat. Boris won and played the king of spades, ducked all around (long pause by West). Boris then ducked a diamond to East, who came back a third heart. Boris won (West discarding a club), played a diamond to the Ace, and announced he would endplay West, making three. The whole hand:
The position after the ace of diamond (lead in dummy, two tricks lost so far):
A club to the ace and another club put West in hand for a beautiful stepping-stone ending:
West has to play a spade to dummy for the ninth trick of this impossible contract: two spades, three hearts, one diamond and three clubs. The defence made two spades, one diamond and one club.
The Big Cat withdrew his claws and smiled at me: "Beautiful hand", he said. East commented that Boris had no play from the start! Boris laughed like a kid.
Friday, April 26, 2013
The Last Trick
Rafael dropped dead at the
bridge table just after the second trick. This was the last dummy he
saw:
Rafael led the 9 of hearts, top of 3 bad cards, noting dummy had overbid a lot. His partner, his wife for more than 25 years, played the Ace. Rafael concluded she didn’t have the King. He had repeated to her so many times that, in 3rd seat, one has to play the lowest of touching honors. With AK, you play the King; with KQ, you play the Queen, etc. As she played the Ace, denying the King, he started to place cards in declarer’s hand.
At trick 2, his wife, realizing her mistake, promptly played the King of hearts.
When the King appeared, he looked up at the sky, then closed his eyes. His wife muttered some excuse, but her husband’s body was already falling to her right (was he righty?). He was still holding his cards when he fell to the ground before the horrified eyes of opponents and players from nearby tables. People gathered rapidly around the corpse.
"One down!" said one, receiving an elbow to the stomach from his chuckling neighbor.
"I want an average," said declarer to the director.
"Why?" asked the director.
"He revoked at trick 2."
Meanwhile, Rafael's soul was traveling towards outer places. He arrived quickly somewhere, a vast place, without walls, even if it was not outside. Somewhere at distance, very, very far away, he saw an enormous door, with a many people waiting in line, a long long line… forever.
"What happened?" he asked in Spanish to his neighbor.
"You just died."
"I am dead?"
"If you are here, you are dead."
"And who are all those people? All dead people?"
"Yes."
"Is that the Paradise we see in the distance?"
"Yes."
"Why this line?"
"Security measures."
"There are security measures to enter into Paradise?"
"Yes."
"How long does it take?"
"Are you in a hurry?"
"I guess not..."
"We have all eternity, you know."
"Right..."
The queue was moving nevertheless. Weather was nice, not hot, not cold, perfect for a naked soul. After an eternity, Rafael arrived at the door. He was greeted by a very serious clerk, who asked him his name, his place and date of birth, all in American English.
"Habla español?" he asked in Spanish.
"What?" asked the clerk clearly not understanding a word.
"Esto es el Paraíso?... Is this really the Paradise, not New York or Los Angeles?"
"What?"
"Can someone talk to me in Spanish?"
"What? Do you have something to declare?"
"I have only one question," Rafael said in his approximate English.
"What?"
"What happened in that 3nt contract I was defending when I died?"
"What?"
"I led the 9 of hearts."
"What?"
"My wife won with the Ace, denying the King."
"What?"
"But she had the King."
"What?"
"I told here many, many, many times that, in third position, the Ace denies the King."
"What?
"Mi dios," murmured Rafael to himself, completely dejected.
"You called me?" asked a gentle voice in Spanish.
"Who is speaking?"
"Me," responded a man in his 30s, with a beard, long hair, and the sweetest eyes.
"You are…"
"The good lord, yes. You called me?"
"No… yes… I think so. I am very happy to see you."
"Talk to me."
"How come we are greeted in English in heaven?"
"English is in fashion."
"OK. I would like to know what happened to this 3nt contract my wife and I were defending when I died. I had led…"
"I know," said God.
"You know?"
"I heard your conversation with the clerk."
"You are bilingual?"
"I speak all languages."
"Obviously, you are God. So what happened?"
"I don’t know."
"But you are God."
"Yes."
"God doesn’t know everything?"
"People exaggerate all the time. I know everything here in Paradise. What happened before your death, I know nothing."
"So, what are all those stories about cardinal sins, mortal sins, good behavior to go to Paradise?"
"Marketing."
"Wow! So you know nothing about my life?"
"Nothing."
"So you can’t tell me what happened in 3nt?"
"No."
"I will be wondering all eternity what was the result?"
"I am afraid so, yes."
"Isn't there any way to find out?"
"No."
"This is hell."
"No, it is heaven."
"No, I mean, not to know is a torture."
"Well, maybe, there is a way, but extreme."
"Tell me."
"You like bridge that much?"
"I just want to know if 3nt went down."
"You will know the answer only if you give up Paradise."
"Give up Paradise?"
"Yes."
"It is extreme, like you say."
"Right."
"To go where? Back to earth?"
"No."
"Where then?"
"To hell."
"Wow! Is hell that bad?"
"It is."
"Hmmm!"
"You really want to go to hell, just to know the answer to your question? Seems to me it is not very important."
"On the contrary. It is very important."
"Oh!"
"If I stay here, I will wonder for all eternity if 3nt went down."
"So?"
"It will be hell. Hell in Paradise, who wants that?"
"Yes, but you will be in Paradise."
"And I will suffer like hell."
"It is up to you."
What would you do?
Rafael led the 9 of hearts, top of 3 bad cards, noting dummy had overbid a lot. His partner, his wife for more than 25 years, played the Ace. Rafael concluded she didn’t have the King. He had repeated to her so many times that, in 3rd seat, one has to play the lowest of touching honors. With AK, you play the King; with KQ, you play the Queen, etc. As she played the Ace, denying the King, he started to place cards in declarer’s hand.
At trick 2, his wife, realizing her mistake, promptly played the King of hearts.
When the King appeared, he looked up at the sky, then closed his eyes. His wife muttered some excuse, but her husband’s body was already falling to her right (was he righty?). He was still holding his cards when he fell to the ground before the horrified eyes of opponents and players from nearby tables. People gathered rapidly around the corpse.
"One down!" said one, receiving an elbow to the stomach from his chuckling neighbor.
"I want an average," said declarer to the director.
"Why?" asked the director.
"He revoked at trick 2."
Meanwhile, Rafael's soul was traveling towards outer places. He arrived quickly somewhere, a vast place, without walls, even if it was not outside. Somewhere at distance, very, very far away, he saw an enormous door, with a many people waiting in line, a long long line… forever.
"What happened?" he asked in Spanish to his neighbor.
"You just died."
"I am dead?"
"If you are here, you are dead."
"And who are all those people? All dead people?"
"Yes."
"Is that the Paradise we see in the distance?"
"Yes."
"Why this line?"
"Security measures."
"There are security measures to enter into Paradise?"
"Yes."
"How long does it take?"
"Are you in a hurry?"
"I guess not..."
"We have all eternity, you know."
"Right..."
The queue was moving nevertheless. Weather was nice, not hot, not cold, perfect for a naked soul. After an eternity, Rafael arrived at the door. He was greeted by a very serious clerk, who asked him his name, his place and date of birth, all in American English.
"Habla español?" he asked in Spanish.
"What?" asked the clerk clearly not understanding a word.
"Esto es el Paraíso?... Is this really the Paradise, not New York or Los Angeles?"
"What?"
"Can someone talk to me in Spanish?"
"What? Do you have something to declare?"
"I have only one question," Rafael said in his approximate English.
"What?"
"What happened in that 3nt contract I was defending when I died?"
"What?"
"I led the 9 of hearts."
"What?"
"My wife won with the Ace, denying the King."
"What?"
"But she had the King."
"What?"
"I told here many, many, many times that, in third position, the Ace denies the King."
"What?
"Mi dios," murmured Rafael to himself, completely dejected.
"You called me?" asked a gentle voice in Spanish.
"Who is speaking?"
"Me," responded a man in his 30s, with a beard, long hair, and the sweetest eyes.
"You are…"
"The good lord, yes. You called me?"
"No… yes… I think so. I am very happy to see you."
"Talk to me."
"How come we are greeted in English in heaven?"
"English is in fashion."
"OK. I would like to know what happened to this 3nt contract my wife and I were defending when I died. I had led…"
"I know," said God.
"You know?"
"I heard your conversation with the clerk."
"You are bilingual?"
"I speak all languages."
"Obviously, you are God. So what happened?"
"I don’t know."
"But you are God."
"Yes."
"God doesn’t know everything?"
"People exaggerate all the time. I know everything here in Paradise. What happened before your death, I know nothing."
"So, what are all those stories about cardinal sins, mortal sins, good behavior to go to Paradise?"
"Marketing."
"Wow! So you know nothing about my life?"
"Nothing."
"So you can’t tell me what happened in 3nt?"
"No."
"I will be wondering all eternity what was the result?"
"I am afraid so, yes."
"Isn't there any way to find out?"
"No."
"This is hell."
"No, it is heaven."
"No, I mean, not to know is a torture."
"Well, maybe, there is a way, but extreme."
"Tell me."
"You like bridge that much?"
"I just want to know if 3nt went down."
"You will know the answer only if you give up Paradise."
"Give up Paradise?"
"Yes."
"It is extreme, like you say."
"Right."
"To go where? Back to earth?"
"No."
"Where then?"
"To hell."
"Wow! Is hell that bad?"
"It is."
"Hmmm!"
"You really want to go to hell, just to know the answer to your question? Seems to me it is not very important."
"On the contrary. It is very important."
"Oh!"
"If I stay here, I will wonder for all eternity if 3nt went down."
"So?"
"It will be hell. Hell in Paradise, who wants that?"
"Yes, but you will be in Paradise."
"And I will suffer like hell."
"It is up to you."
What would you do?
Saturday, April 20, 2013
The Art of Ducking
A bridge table is always a small
theatre where we can see characters of
all sorts.
North-South or East-West, you see go by... the Happy one, the Aggressive, the Nervous, the Arrogant, the Professor, etc. And then there is the Expert: the-one-who-once-was-an-expert; the-one-who-wants-you-to-think-he's-an-expert; the-one-whom-everybody-thinks-he's-an-expert, etc. There is also the Beginner: the-one-who-apologises-for-being-a-Beginner; the one-who-wants-you-to-think-he's-still-a-Beginner; the-one-who-still-plays-with-the-beginners-because-he-doesn't-send-his-points-to-the-ACBL, etc.
At the local club, one night, you might see these three characters:
The first one, West, has been a good player but now he is only the Expert-who-is-always-right; he always find profound reasoning to justify his mistakes.
His partner, East, once had great ambitions but all she has left now is pretention.
Between the so-called Expert and the Pretentious, no partnership is possible, they just want to be clever. She is not as strong as he is, but she would never admit it. On defence, she questions, discusses, gets annoyed, cries out; he makes faces, doesn't answer, avoids discussion, etc. They have something in common though: they know the art of ducking.
This art seems to distinguish the expert from the ordinary player. To duck is an art, it is the last word in bridge.
The bidding:
Lead: Ace of ♣.
Sitting South we have a Beginner. Well, that's what the Expert and the Pretentious think of her and they don't even say Hello: they already duck.
The Beginner's bidding is, to say the least, aggressive. A quick look at dummy shows five winners; a second look tells her she has 6 losers: 4 clubs and the 2 major aces. Well, anyway, she tells herself, let' s go, my opponents seem so nice.
On the Ace of clubs, the Pretentious puts the 8; the Expert then plays the King of clubs, 9 from his partner. Here, the Expert makes his first deep play: he plays a low club - yet another advanced form of ducking. Declarer takes the Jack of clubs and plays a small spade: the Expert, who was not born yesterday, ducks and the King wins. Life is so beautiful, people are so understanding, rejoices the Beginner. I'm up to seven tricks. Now she lays a small trap, so small, childish: she plays Queen of hearts from dummy: the Pretentious, all at showing her superiority, ducks: 8 tricks.
The Beginner, starting to feel respect for those altruistic souls, thinks: she has ducked once, she may duck twice.
Jack of hearts from dummy: the Pretentious, keeping her cool... and her Ace of hearts, ducks again. To duck once was already a superior play, but what can you say about the second duck?
Good heavens, reflects the Beginner, there are no aces in this game. She even thinks of calling the Director. We can see that she doesn't understand the expert's play: To play your Aces, how vulgar! would have said the Pretentious.
But now, the Beginner, having received four tricks by gracious ducks, and before calling the director, becomes really vulgar and cashes 5 diamond tricks: 9 tricks and a cold TOP.
The last two tricks produce spectacular collisions between the Ace of ♥, the Ace of ♠, the Queen of ♣, the Expert and the Pretentious, all in front of the Beginner who is still asking herself where are all those Aces everyone told her should exist. We can see that she really doesn't understand the deepness of that expert play because who in the world can reduce 6 winners to 4?
Did I just make a squeeze?, she asks, dazzled.
They did it themselves, answers her partner. You have combined here many techniques: at bridge, there is the simple squeeze, the double squeeze and the triple squeeze; there is also the strip-squeeze (No, dear, it's not what you think!). There is also the ordinary dummy, the dummy reversal and the double dummy. You have just made a triple dummy plus an auto-squeeze by East-West, all of which was expressed by Jean de la Fontaine, a long time ago, when he said: The dum(m)est of the three is not the one you think... or should we say the dummiest of the three is not the one you think.
North-South or East-West, you see go by... the Happy one, the Aggressive, the Nervous, the Arrogant, the Professor, etc. And then there is the Expert: the-one-who-once-was-an-expert; the-one-who-wants-you-to-think-he's-an-expert; the-one-whom-everybody-thinks-he's-an-expert, etc. There is also the Beginner: the-one-who-apologises-for-being-a-Beginner; the one-who-wants-you-to-think-he's-still-a-Beginner; the-one-who-still-plays-with-the-beginners-because-he-doesn't-send-his-points-to-the-ACBL, etc.
At the local club, one night, you might see these three characters:
The first one, West, has been a good player but now he is only the Expert-who-is-always-right; he always find profound reasoning to justify his mistakes.
His partner, East, once had great ambitions but all she has left now is pretention.
Between the so-called Expert and the Pretentious, no partnership is possible, they just want to be clever. She is not as strong as he is, but she would never admit it. On defence, she questions, discusses, gets annoyed, cries out; he makes faces, doesn't answer, avoids discussion, etc. They have something in common though: they know the art of ducking.
This art seems to distinguish the expert from the ordinary player. To duck is an art, it is the last word in bridge.
The bidding:
Lead: Ace of ♣.
Sitting South we have a Beginner. Well, that's what the Expert and the Pretentious think of her and they don't even say Hello: they already duck.
The Beginner's bidding is, to say the least, aggressive. A quick look at dummy shows five winners; a second look tells her she has 6 losers: 4 clubs and the 2 major aces. Well, anyway, she tells herself, let' s go, my opponents seem so nice.
On the Ace of clubs, the Pretentious puts the 8; the Expert then plays the King of clubs, 9 from his partner. Here, the Expert makes his first deep play: he plays a low club - yet another advanced form of ducking. Declarer takes the Jack of clubs and plays a small spade: the Expert, who was not born yesterday, ducks and the King wins. Life is so beautiful, people are so understanding, rejoices the Beginner. I'm up to seven tricks. Now she lays a small trap, so small, childish: she plays Queen of hearts from dummy: the Pretentious, all at showing her superiority, ducks: 8 tricks.
The Beginner, starting to feel respect for those altruistic souls, thinks: she has ducked once, she may duck twice.
Jack of hearts from dummy: the Pretentious, keeping her cool... and her Ace of hearts, ducks again. To duck once was already a superior play, but what can you say about the second duck?
Good heavens, reflects the Beginner, there are no aces in this game. She even thinks of calling the Director. We can see that she doesn't understand the expert's play: To play your Aces, how vulgar! would have said the Pretentious.
But now, the Beginner, having received four tricks by gracious ducks, and before calling the director, becomes really vulgar and cashes 5 diamond tricks: 9 tricks and a cold TOP.
The last two tricks produce spectacular collisions between the Ace of ♥, the Ace of ♠, the Queen of ♣, the Expert and the Pretentious, all in front of the Beginner who is still asking herself where are all those Aces everyone told her should exist. We can see that she really doesn't understand the deepness of that expert play because who in the world can reduce 6 winners to 4?
Did I just make a squeeze?, she asks, dazzled.
They did it themselves, answers her partner. You have combined here many techniques: at bridge, there is the simple squeeze, the double squeeze and the triple squeeze; there is also the strip-squeeze (No, dear, it's not what you think!). There is also the ordinary dummy, the dummy reversal and the double dummy. You have just made a triple dummy plus an auto-squeeze by East-West, all of which was expressed by Jean de la Fontaine, a long time ago, when he said: The dum(m)est of the three is not the one you think... or should we say the dummiest of the three is not the one you think.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Mona Lisa and the Lacemaker
Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519)
Vermeer (1632-1675)
RHO opens 1♦ and you overcall 1♥ with:
Your card says Overcalls occasionally light! LHO negative doubles, showing 4 spades, your partner cue-bids and you end up in 2♥.
LHO leads a small diamond and RHO plays the Queen, then the King. You are playing duplicate and you have to try to make the maximum number of tricks. At the start of the hand, you have 6 losers: 2 spades, 1 heart, 1 diamond and 2 clubs! Can you reduce that number? Can you think of making 10 tricks?
First a bit of discovery.
You ruff the King of diamonds and play a club, small, King, Ace.
Stop, and count: RHO thus has AKQ of diamonds and the Ace of clubs, 13 points already.
In hand with the Ace of clubs, RHO plays back the 10 of hearts. LHO seems to have the King of hearts, because RHO did not open 1NT. You play small from hand, LHO plays small too! RHO has at least 15 points and did not open 1NT. For his part, LHO has to have KQxx in spades and Jxxx in diamonds, a minimum for his negative double at the first level.
But why didn’t RHO open 1NT? That is the question! He has at least 15 points and no singleton, LHO’s negative double showing only 4 spades. RHO’s hand is therefore an open book:
xx
K10
AKQxx
A(J)xx
In dummy with the Queen of hearts, you play back a heart, King, Ace.
There, you are at the crossroads. You feel this light euphoria, announcing that you are in the zone, this second state you access when you see the cards. And what do you see? You see that, to make 10 tricks, you have to go to dummy, ruff the last diamond, go back to dummy and play a small spade towards your J972. You will need only to cover RHO’s card, and LHO will be endplayed with an honour (if he doesn’t have the 10), forced to concede ruff and discard or to play back a spade away from his other honour. You will score +170, certainly an excellent score.
In fact you are playing for the following position:
On the edge of your chair, you are literally floating. The beauty of the play, that’s the objective. Thus, the goal of a bridge player is not to play only his own 26 cards, but to play all the 52 cards (opponents don’t have the choice then) in order to recreate this image he has of the deal. A bridge deal contains an order, a structure, an innate organisation, an original and organic layout. The bridge player has to find this primary state and, if he succeeds in reconstructing it, he will have created a perfect object, a masterpiece, whatever the level of the contract.
I have visited many museums all over the world and I have seen thousands of paintings. I can say that, for the immense majority of them, you say to yourself Very nice, and you go on to the next one. But when you arrive before certain paintings by Vermeer (1632-1675) or by Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), you stop, you are compelled to stop, and you say to yourself: "Now, this is perfect!"
These paintings are perfect, and nothing about them can be changed.
At bridge, it is the same thing: once the cards are dealt, the hand as a whole is perfect and nothing can be changed.
And what sign the bridge player should look for, that will tell him how the cards lie? Simply the state he is in, this febrile condition of acute lucidity, like before the paintings listed above.
You play a club, LHO follows with the 9, you hesitate, heart pounding. Finally, you play the 10 of clubs in dummy, which holds. It is really too beautiful and the rest is like a dream: diamond ruffed, club to the Queen. Then small spade …
RHO plays small, and you add the last touch to your masterpiece: you play the 7 of spades and LHO wins the Queen!!
He comes back a diamond (whatever), you pitch a spade in dummy, ruff in your hand and score +170, a top. More importantly, you taste this immense pleasure, this perfect satisfaction of having imagined the layout, of having been able to predict the play and seen the cards obey your will.
At the Louvre in Paris, Mona Lisa looks at you, wherever you are, near or far away, to the right or to the left, and her smile is directed towards you, personally. You stay there a long time, unable to leave her, unable to turn away. Gradually you find she has some imperfections: her right eye seems to squint a little bit, her nose is a bit too long, her mouth is small, her hair badly done, and her shoulders are sloping. But you stay there, without moving, subdued by all this perfection. People around you are talking, a guide is arguing with one tourist who is trying to show off (the French!), you hear everything, and you don’t hear a thing. Mona Lisa's eyes and her smile, ironic and at the same time indulgent, are telling you: "Don’t judge them too harshly, we are all imperfect. At this very moment, you are discovering my imperfections, and, at the same time, you are fascinated! And the more you will find my imperfections, the more you will love me!"
A bridge hand contains a series of imperfections (your spades are anaemic, you are missing K10 of hearts and AJ of clubs), but the sum of all these imperfections can produce the most perfect beauty. And this beauty intoxicates us when we succeed, with will, courage, imagination and concentration (all human qualities) in recreating this series of imperfections, in putting them in order, in using these imperfections to create a perfect object, a masterpiece, i.e. a work where nothing can be changed, where everything is necessary.
Take a good look at Vermeer’s characters; they are all perfectly concentrating on ordinary, daily, down to earth tasks: one woman is pouring milk, the other is weighing pearls, and a third one is making lace. These paintings are unforgettable masterpieces, inspired by little duties, done by little people, but carefully, diligently, with total concentration, like when you have to play a little 2♥ contract.
Your heart still races even today when you think about it, like when you think back of the Mona Lisa, and you say to yourself :
"Is it possible to have so much grace?"
Monday, April 1, 2013
Is it quick?
The vaporetto passes by Santa Maria della Salute, the most beautiful church in Venice for you, then by the Guggenheim Museum, with his bronze horseman in the garden overlooking the Grand Canal. The cavalier, naked, is sitting on a horse, his two arms extended, and his penis is in erection, all the time obviously, it is in bronze (do I really have to explain everything?). The excessively rich Peggy Guggenheim, naughty, had nevertheless thought ahead: the penis is removable! So, when she would receive archbishops and dignitaries from the Vatican, she would unscrew the "object" so as not to shock those austere clergymen.
A little further, the vaporetto arrives at the San Silvestro Station and, approaching, you notice a young American with a young woman, probably his wife. The young American seems in a hurry. When the vaporetto stops, the employee opens the gate to let the people out and in, and announces the last station: "Ferrovia"!
The young American doesn't seem too eager to get in, where it's already quite crowded. "Let's wait for the next one," he says. "I don't want to wait, let's take this one," replies the wife. So the young American asks: Is it quick?
If you are in a hurry, don't go to Venice and don't play bridge. At bridge, the Is it quick approach is always bad. If you need 15 minutes to play a hand, take 15 minutes. The club players will be irritated by your slow tempo (they don't know Venice), but let them stew (vaporetto… stew, get it?)
You have :
2♥ showed a game forcing hand with a club fit and no majors. 4♣ insists for slam, 4♦ is kickback RKC and 4♠ says 0 or 3. 4NT asks for the Queen, if 4♠ said 3. 5♦ says: I have the trump Queen and the diamond King. You can now count to 11 tricks, 12 if partner has 6 clubs or a queen somewhere. As this is matchpoints, you choose 6NT.
The lead is a spade.
Only 11 tricks, and you see that 6 clubs is cold.
In NT, only 11 tricks and no finesse possible. Maybe West has underled QJ of spades. You call for the 10, no luck, East covers with the Queen.
Now what? Do you win this trick?
99% of the players, in a hurry, tourists of bridge, would win without thinking. But you are not like them and you decide to listen to me and think.
There are not 100 solutions for a 12th trick, there is only one, a squeeze, this mythological animal that not many players have seen.
"How did he make 3nt against you?"
"He squeezed me."
"Excuse me! You know the squeeze now?"
"I don't know, that's what he said to his partner: I squeezed her."
"And you let him do that to you? In front of his partner?"
I'll tell you how this works: some get squeezed and can do nothing about that. Some others make squeezes and they don't know it. Even you, you squeezed me once or twice, but I didn't tell you. What we don't know doesn't hurt, used to say my mother.
So here it is. The first condition for a squeeze is the number of winners compared to the number of remaining tricks: you need to have all winners except one. Here you have 11 tricks, so you need to lose one trick to reduce the number of remaining tricks to 12: that is called rectifying the count. So why not duck that 1st trick? You will have 11 winners and 12 tricks remaining. Too tough, you say? Not very tough.
East comes back with the Queen of hearts and you should suspect he has no more spades. West probably has 6 spades to the Jack, and East, 4 or 5 hearts QJTx(x). At trick 2, you already know a lot of things. And that's not all: the moment you will play 2 clubs, you will know for sure everything on opponents' hands. After 4 tricks, you will know the distributions all around the table. Bridge is easy, I think, when you apply yourself. If you play quickly though (Is it quick?), without looking, you are dead. Take your time.
Should you win this heart Queen in hand or in dummy? Try to look ahead, like Peggy Guggenheim. When you will cash dummy's clubs, with K9 of hearts in your hand, you will just have to watch for East's J10 of hearts. So the 2 most important cards in your hand are the 9 of hearts and the… 5 of spades. These 2 cards will be of no use, except to threaten East/West.
So win with the heart Ace in dummy, West follows with the 8, then play clubs. At the 2nd round of clubs, West discards and… you know everything. Here's how the cards were probably dealt at the start:
and we are now here:
Now ask yourself this question: if West has to keep the spades and East the hearts, who will guard the diamonds? Nobody! But do you have to count the diamonds as well? NO! The diamonds are of no interest, even if it is those diamonds that will give you this contract. Follow closely.
Are you done yet? Is it quick? No. You have to take your time, first to watch the important cards, and then to enjoy the progression of the squeeze. At the beginning, the defenders don't feel nothing and they wonder why you look so closely at their cards (like on the Grand Canal, on this last morning, you admired Palace Barbarigo and its magnificent mosaics, then Ca'Rezzonico; you went under the Rialto, soon on your right you rediscovered the Ca' D'oro where you could see Tiziano's Venus; then finally you watched the Palace Vendramin-Calergi where Wagner died).
The defenders seem puzzled by your manners. They look at their cards a second time, trying to be funny. They don't know that you don't really look at their cards on the table; you are focusing on the image of their hands in your mind. After a few cards, the defenders become less ironic, they move on their seat, change positions, they don't smile anymore, they notice that discarding, which was so easy at the beginning, is getting more and more complicated.
Now play AK of spades, pitching a small heart from dummy. East can't follow, so he pitches his last club, then a heart. No problem yet for East-West.
Now cash your 3 clubs. On the 2nd and 3rd club, East has to keep J10 of hearts, so he has to discard 2 diamonds. As you didn't see the J nor the 10 of hearts fall, you discard your now useless 9 of hearts. Let's see West now: he can let go of a heart, then a spade, but he cannot discard his last master spade, so he discards a diamond.
And now the coup de grâce for West: small heart to your King. He can't let go of his master spade, so he discards a diamond. We have now:
Magic, isn't it? East and West each have a winner which is useless and you have now 3 diamond winners without ever having played a diamond. 12 tricks. The most fascinating thing here is that you never look at the diamonds.
The squeeze is the most exhilarating play in bridge. A squeeze is actually quite easy, either it works or it doesn't work. If it doesn't work, it is not your fault; if it works, it is not because you are brilliant. A squeeze works by itself, as long as you are careful to take the steps we have explained. And you don't have to be in slam for a squeeze to happen; you can make a squeeze in 3NT, 2♥, even 1♣.
When you notice that you are executing a squeeze, especially the first time, slow down and savour this flawless machinery, this infailible logic, and you will know the supreme pleasure in bridge.
To visit Venice, is it quick? NO. Same at bridge.
When you apply yourself, you access another world, you don't hear anything, you are a 100% focused on what is happening, you are elsewhere and in the present moment, you admire Palace Foscari-Contarini, the San Simeon Piccolo Church and you don't want to get off the vaporetto… "Ferrovia !!!"
The guide announces the last stop. The hand is over and you have to leave Venice. The young American leaves the boat in a hurry. But you know you have enjoyed the ride to the maximum, you have counted the hearts and the spades, the clubs and the diamonds, you have walked a long time and everywhere, in the morning and in the evening, in the small streets and on the Grand Canal, at all times of day and night.
When you will succeed in performing your first squeeze, consciously, you will be so excited that you will start to look for that play in every contract you play. You will want to experience again this unforgettable extra sensorial state, you will want to go back to Venice and relive this ecstasy, like the horseman in Peggy Guggenheim's garden.
The 25% Syndrome (Little Devils)
The first quality of a good
bridge player is probably discipline, obedience to the partnership's
bidding system and philosophy.
So my partner and I have reached an agreement on certain rules never to be broken.
For example, at the beginning of a session, my partner doesn't always have her whole mind at the table and, in order to compensate, we have designed a protection kit. At first we thought of making a special request in order to skip the first round, but the ACBL's psychiatrist told us we suffered from a syndrome called traumatism of apprehension coupled with a compulsive tendency to procrastination, that there was no known cure and that we had to accept the fact there would always be a first round. We then asked to begin with the last round, but that too was impossible.
"Even with computers?" we challenged.
"Even with computers!"
"OK then. Could we not say that beginning with the last round is like a psych and that, if the ACBL tolerates psychs, why not this one?"
This reasoning finally used up all the shrink's phoney scientific behaviour.
"Because that's the way it is!" were his famous last words as he walked out with his mother.
Like my partner was saying after the session (with the analyst, not at the club):
"That little devil is telling us 'we' have a syndrome!"
So we finally accepted the fact that, if we want to play bridge, we have to begin with the first round. That's why we have all those rules which permit us to survive until the second round, beginning of session having been defined as only the first round.
Here are our rules, not necessarily in order of priority:
You play 4♠:
The lead is Jack of diamonds. East takes with the King and plays back a diamond.
What are your chances? Write that down, naturally, in order to avoid saying after reading the solution: It's obvious I would have played that way. I know, that's what I always say.
While you're pondering, let's continue; everybody knows that a double finesse has a 75% chance of success.
If you have:
and you take two successive finesses (small twice towards AJ109), you should make three tricks 75% of the time.
My partner, though, always plays this combination this way: first, like a big girl, she plays small towards the Jack which loses to an Honour. Back in dummy, she plays another small card towards her hand and, if East plays small, she hesitates, hesitates, hesitates and, unable to resist, always plays the Ace, catching air 75% of the time, and the other Honour 25% of the time.
Voilà!, you know now the reason behind my title. We explained this many times to her, but she continues to play in this fashion.
You see, in real life, my wife is an auditor and nothing escapes her. The little devils who try to sneak by her are always caught and walk straight afterwards.
At the bridge table, my partner continues her hunt for the little devils who hide behind her with KQ or QJ tight. And, if ever she takes the double finesse (against all her bones and soul) and the two honours were tight behind her, we hear all sorts of things about our so-called probabilities.
After your Queen of diamond, you examine the situation; your still have 3 losers : one spade, one heart and one club (the other club goes on the Ace of diamond). You play Ace of spade, 7, 3, 2. Small heart towards dummy, West jumps on the Ace, plays Ace of clubs and a heart. You play a spade from dummy, 8 from East, ???
Why did West play his Club Ace? One should always be suspicious of a player who wins an Ace in a situation without any urgency. By playing the Ace of clubs, doesn't he tell you he has the 4th trick for defence in his hand, the Queen of spades?
He most certainly has the Queen of spades and, if he has Qxx, you will go down. You play the King, catching the Queen doubleton.
Back to your home, you show this problem to your partner, well prepared to present her your scientific dissertation on the count of HCP, psychology, probabilities, 75%, 50%, 25%, etc. In two seconds, she says: I play the King!
Proud of her (and mainly of yourself for teaching her so well), you ask why and she replies promptly:
"West, that little devil, has put me back in dummy to force me into a finesse in spades, do you think he can fool me? They're all the same, all little devils!"
So my partner and I have reached an agreement on certain rules never to be broken.
For example, at the beginning of a session, my partner doesn't always have her whole mind at the table and, in order to compensate, we have designed a protection kit. At first we thought of making a special request in order to skip the first round, but the ACBL's psychiatrist told us we suffered from a syndrome called traumatism of apprehension coupled with a compulsive tendency to procrastination, that there was no known cure and that we had to accept the fact there would always be a first round. We then asked to begin with the last round, but that too was impossible.
"Even with computers?" we challenged.
"Even with computers!"
"OK then. Could we not say that beginning with the last round is like a psych and that, if the ACBL tolerates psychs, why not this one?"
This reasoning finally used up all the shrink's phoney scientific behaviour.
"Because that's the way it is!" were his famous last words as he walked out with his mother.
Like my partner was saying after the session (with the analyst, not at the club):
"That little devil is telling us 'we' have a syndrome!"
So we finally accepted the fact that, if we want to play bridge, we have to begin with the first round. That's why we have all those rules which permit us to survive until the second round, beginning of session having been defined as only the first round.
Here are our rules, not necessarily in order of priority:
- we cannot make my partner play a difficult contract;
- we can never double for penalty;
- a situation
that has never occurred must not happen, even if it is
part of our bidding system;
Corollary: a situation that has not occurred in a long time falls into the category situation that has never occurred; - we must not play against players we don't like;
- anything that you can think of must not happen;
- anything that you can never think of must never happen either.
You play 4♠:
The lead is Jack of diamonds. East takes with the King and plays back a diamond.
What are your chances? Write that down, naturally, in order to avoid saying after reading the solution: It's obvious I would have played that way. I know, that's what I always say.
While you're pondering, let's continue; everybody knows that a double finesse has a 75% chance of success.
If you have:
and you take two successive finesses (small twice towards AJ109), you should make three tricks 75% of the time.
My partner, though, always plays this combination this way: first, like a big girl, she plays small towards the Jack which loses to an Honour. Back in dummy, she plays another small card towards her hand and, if East plays small, she hesitates, hesitates, hesitates and, unable to resist, always plays the Ace, catching air 75% of the time, and the other Honour 25% of the time.
Voilà!, you know now the reason behind my title. We explained this many times to her, but she continues to play in this fashion.
You see, in real life, my wife is an auditor and nothing escapes her. The little devils who try to sneak by her are always caught and walk straight afterwards.
At the bridge table, my partner continues her hunt for the little devils who hide behind her with KQ or QJ tight. And, if ever she takes the double finesse (against all her bones and soul) and the two honours were tight behind her, we hear all sorts of things about our so-called probabilities.
After your Queen of diamond, you examine the situation; your still have 3 losers : one spade, one heart and one club (the other club goes on the Ace of diamond). You play Ace of spade, 7, 3, 2. Small heart towards dummy, West jumps on the Ace, plays Ace of clubs and a heart. You play a spade from dummy, 8 from East, ???
Why did West play his Club Ace? One should always be suspicious of a player who wins an Ace in a situation without any urgency. By playing the Ace of clubs, doesn't he tell you he has the 4th trick for defence in his hand, the Queen of spades?
He most certainly has the Queen of spades and, if he has Qxx, you will go down. You play the King, catching the Queen doubleton.
Back to your home, you show this problem to your partner, well prepared to present her your scientific dissertation on the count of HCP, psychology, probabilities, 75%, 50%, 25%, etc. In two seconds, she says: I play the King!
Proud of her (and mainly of yourself for teaching her so well), you ask why and she replies promptly:
"West, that little devil, has put me back in dummy to force me into a finesse in spades, do you think he can fool me? They're all the same, all little devils!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)