Sunday, May 26, 2013

Dear Computer

Dear computer,

We have been seeing each other for more than 30 years now.  I must say that these 30 years have been quite a ride.  Playing in local clubs where nobody likes you, I had to take your side all the time. I have to confess I sometimes was tempted to side with the players who use the phrase you hate so much: "those hands", like that woman or that guy!  A phrase that infuriates you, I know.

In 30 years, you have never compromised, which is admirable, I have to admit.  True to yourself, you turned a deaf ear to all those who complained about your unusual shapes, unnatural distributions and unpredictable breaks.

What is unusual about a bridge hand? was and is your only and repeated defence.  The hands are dealt and distributed randomly, that is all.  Does Roger, who blames me all the time, think I get up at 3 in the morning to fix the hands in order to trick him personally?  I don’t even know Roger!  How would I want to mislead Susan (another one who hates me to death) personally?

But they won't listen to you, computer.  They just hate you, it is... natural for them to hate you because you are not, well... natural.

I have been down in many contracts myself, even if I have known you all those years.  I sometimes mutter some bad words, like when the Queen is doubleton offside.  I kick myself cause I know it is doubleton offside (30 years, remember...).  If only I had played AK, I would have made that slam.  So I found myself in 6♠ last week, dealt by you, my dear.

All the way during the bidding sequence, I was thinking: "In this club, we will be the only one in slam.  If I go down, we are doomed to a cold zero.  Probably the only problem will be the trump suit, trumps will possibly break 4-1."

Sorry, computer, don’t take it personally (oops!).  I repeat, 30 years of marriage (sort of ) have taught me a thing or two.  No, dear, I am not accusing you now of dealing me "those hands", but you must admit, they happen.  Not more than the probabilities, you say?  Don’t shout, dear.  Yes, dear, just probabilities.



I got a friendly diamond lead, won the Jack with the Queen in hand.  Immediately, I tossed the King of trumps on the table.  Small, small, Jack.

"Well... dear..." I started to murmur.
"I am not listening!" teeths gritting.  "Just play bridge."

I then played the trump 7, small, small, discard.  6♠ making 7, and a top board.

I must say, dear, making that slam was a consolation for all the times I went down in a slam with a 10-card trump suit, with trumps breaking 3-0.  Or when I was in 6♣, we were the only ones there, and trumps split 5-0 dealt by you!  Or when we were in 6 with an 8 card fit topped with AKQ (we could also have played in clubs, we had the same combination), but each minor broke 4-1; all we had to do, stated the sheet (you, dear !) was to play instead in 6 with trumps AKJxxx facing stiff Queen.

Shall I continue?  You are not listening, I know.  You say I am an old and unfaithful grump?

"Yes you are.  You say we have been friends all those years, that you took my side."
"Yes I did."
"I know you talk behind my back..."
"Who said that..."
"Never mind.  I know what I know.  You think I have no heart, no feelings, no..."
"Don’t cry, dear."
"I am not crying, you idiot.  Have you ever seen a computer cry?"

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Karma and Dharma
(or How to prevent your stupid partner from making a mistake)

Karma is a trendy word.
 
Many use it as an excuse: It’s my karma, they say, to explain that destiny has decided for them, that they can't do anything, that they are always unlucky.  If everything was written beforehand, people with the same karma should arrive at the same result, which is not the case.
 
Some, born with a silver spoon in their mouth, waste their lives, while others, born with absolutely nothing, achieve astonishing success.  Why is that?
 
Well, it is because we forgot dharma.  Karma is maybe what we receive when we are born, but dharma is what we do with it.  Thus man is always free, whatever his debut in life.
 
The bridge player also is free, whatever the cards he receives.
 
You have:



Your partner opens 1



You lead the 8 of hearts.



Declarer plays small in dummy, partner wins the Queen, plays the Ace and returns a heart.  You ruff and play a club: Queen from partner, Ace from declarer, who then plays AK of spades, 10 tricks.  You get almost a bottom and start the usual whining:
 
"It’s our karma.  How can I know you have the Ace of diamonds and not the Ace of clubs?"
 
Examining the score sheet, you find all sorts of results, typical of a local club game.

Contract Score
4♠ = - 420
4♠-1 + 50
3♠-1 + 50
3♠-2 + 100
2♠ = - 170 (you)
etc.

A "normal"’ score sheet in your club.  How is this possible?
 
All the players have the same cards, no?  How can they make 10 tricks at one table and 7 at the next?  Is Karma all mixed up?  NO. 
 
Some players invoke karma to explain their failure, others use dharma.  Let’s have a closer look.



8 of heart lead, small, Queen, small; then Ace, small, small, small.
 
Now what card must partner play to suggest a diamond return? 
 
A big heart obviously, to tell you to play back the higher suit, diamonds.  So you ruff and play a diamond to partner’s Ace who returns a 4th heart.  Declarer discards his losing diamond, you ruff, end of defense, 2 making.  How can 2 go down?  You can’t see it.
 
On the last round, you are bye and you decide to kibitz the best pair of the club.  You’re lucky: they are playing that famous 2 board.  Same bidding, same lead.
 
But, on the big heart return from his partner, signaling diamonds, the player with your cards, after ruffing, makes a play that astonishes you: he plays the King of diamonds.  His partner then makes another play that stuns you even more: he takes the King with his Ace, then cashes the Queen.
 
Defenders now have 5 tricks: 2 hearts, 2 diamonds and 1 spade.  After the diamond Queen, the 4th heart is now played.  What is he doing?  Is he really giving a ruff/sluff?
 
Declarer, witnessing all this marvelous play, cannot help being amazed: he knows very well he will get a zero, but he can only admire the beauty of this sequence of play, this dazzling and infallible logic.  He ruffs with the 10, knowing very well it is useless.  West over ruffs with the Queen, 2 down one.
 
This result has nothing to do with luck or bad luck.  The only bad luck for declarer was to play this board against those players.  The cards are the same for everybody (karma) and everyone has the possibility to play them for the best result (dharma).  Wanting to learn, you ask explanations.  You should always ask good players, they will usually answer.  If you don’t ask, they will not tell you.
 
"Why the king of diamonds?"
"Since my partner has signaled diamonds, I play the King so he doesn’t make a mistake, to force him to cash the Ace at the second diamond play. That way, declarer cannot discard his losing diamond on the 4th heart."
"And why did you take the King with the Ace?"
"To prevent my partner from making a mistake.  As I have AQJ10, it is easy for me to take the King and play the Ace.  If I play the 10, who knows what can happen?"
"And why a 4th heart, and not a club?"
"My partner passed on 1. With the King of diamonds and Ace or King of clubs, he would have made a negative double.  So partner doesn’t have a club honour.  Declarer has redoubled to show a good hand, so he has AK of clubs.  My club Queen is dead.  The only hope then is that partner has the spade Queen.  It is not certain, obviously, but it is the only chance.  If it works, good for us; if it doesn’t work, we couldn’t beat 2."
"Thank you very much, it is very clear.  So, if I understand well, playing defense is mainly preventing partner form making a mistake.  I have to think for him?"
"Yes.  You know Murphy’s Law: if something can go wrong, it will.  If partner has the chance to make a mistake, I must prevent him from doing so."
 
The next time you play bridge, instead of looking around fearing your bad karma, think of preventing your partner from making a mistake.
 
Think about karma and dharma.  When you look at your hand, you see your karma.  You can leave it as is, and then complain.  Or you can use your dharma: play your cards the best way you can.
 
Good players don’t care about karma. They believe only in dharma.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Extraneous Factors

You have:



While you are still counting your points, your partner opens 1♠!

You have learned to stay calm when big hands occur, so you bid 2.  No problem, it is forcing.  Partner responds 3♣, conventional, a brilliant treatment from Eric Kokish, the premier bridge coach and bidding wizard in the world.  Here are all the responses possible when opener has a heart fit.

4 = 5-4 in majors, 2-2 in minors, no Ace no King in minors, so you know right away if you have 2 losers somewhere. Quick, informative, economical.
4♣/4 = splinter with 4 card heart fit
3= fit, not the 4, nor the 4♣/4 hand
3♣ = can be natural, 5 cards, good hand or 3 card heart fit with a singleton in a minor.

After 3♣, responder bids 3 to enquire.  Responses :

3 = heart fit, singleton ♣
3♠ = heart fit, singleton
3N = 5 card club suit, no heart fit, good hand

Here is the sequence we had.



As responder, your hand is getting better and better.  This ♣ singleton is good news.

We continue:



Now you know enough as responder, so you go for RKCB.  Opener shows 2 without the queen, heart is trumps obviously.  Time to stop and count.

Opener has Ace of hearts, Ace of diamonds and singleton club.  That is only 8 points. She could have Jack of spades, Jack of hearts, 10 points.  Thus she needs Queen of diamonds to get to 12 points.  If she doesnt have one of the Jacks in majors, she should have the Jack of diamonds.  Or she could have the useless Jack of clubs.

With the double fit and all the aces, you are able to count to 13 tricks: 5 spades, 5 hearts, AK of diamonds and Ace of clubs, 13 tricks.  But… one of the majors could break 4-1 and you don’t have 13 tricks anymore.  So you should play in one major in order to be able to establish the other major if it breaks 4-1.  Which major will you choose?
With AKQ in spades, partner is a favorite to hold Jxxxx in spades.
You know she has Axx in hearts, but does she have AJx?

You are still there, thinking, counting, trying to take the optimal decision.

Are there other factors you should consider?

Well yes, extraneous factors in fact, but of paramount importance.  Who is your partner?
As a matter of fact, you are playing with your wife.  Not important, you say?  Think again!

I had a partner once who, in a slam forcing sequence, saw his wife passed 4nt.  Considerate as he was, he managed to make only 10 tricks, so she would not feel bad.  When he told me that story, he added: I would not be able to do that today, I would get blasted by her after that for treating her as inferior.

So you are playing with your wife and, well, I must add another twist: today is her birthday!
Still not important, you say?  Very, very, very important, I say.

So what do you do?  Do you adopt your usual manly attitude and bid 7, on the principle that you are a better player than she is?  What if you go down???

Or you'll let her play 7♠, as a gift for her birthday and a mark of confidence?

I bid 7♠.  She was understandably startled, as from her first bid, she never knew I had a spade fit.

Did they live happily ever after, you wonder? Yes. All majors behaved and she scored 2210. Happy Birthday!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Big Cat With 99 Lives

How do you become a great card player?  Well, firstly, bad bidding will surely help; another good way is to forget what you play, and end up in ridiculous contracts.  But, as we say in French, "le ridicule ne tue pas".

A third way is for the opponents to let themselves get hypnotised by a big cat, just because he is a big cat.  I have seen Boris Baran survive so many impossible contracts, that I have come to think of him as a great big cat, not with 9 lives, but rather with 99 lives.  Boris Baran has big claws and radiating presence: when he sits at the bridge table, he comes to play.   He is also known to have psychic powers, and he is thus able to hypnotise opponents (who want to be hypnotised, by the way, like the poor little bird in the eye of the cat, or the deer at night that just jumps in front of your car).  Some victims want to stay victims (it is easier).

In the quarter finals of the Canadian National Team Championships 1998, I witnessed this hand.



The auction:



Some explanations. Double showed a four-card major and a five-card minor suit.  2♣ was Stayman, and 2♠ said "I have four spades and an invitational hand, or four spades with a long minor suit and a weak hand."

On 2♠, opener passes with a minimum and four little spades or three good spades (KQx); with two spades and a minimum, opener bids 2NT; responder then passes with the invitational hand with four spades or bids his long minor suit with the weak hand, to play.

If opener has a maximum and four spades, he bids 3♠; responder then bids 4♠ with the invitational hand and passes with the weak hand.  If opener has a maximum without four spades, he bids 3♣, artificial; responder with the invitational hand can now bid 3NT; if responder has the weak hand with a long minor, he passes 3♣ or corrects to 3, to play.  Really a very nice treatment (by Eric Kokish, I think).

On 2♠, Mark Molson alerted on his side of the panel; Boris bid 3♣ (natural !? - he had forgotten his agreement on this sequence) and did not alert.  When the auction was over, Boris woke up and said that he should have alerted 3♣; West then said he would have doubled 3♣, Molson then said he would have bid 3NT anyway, and that was that.  Boris then told West, the 3♣ doubler, that he was on lead; West then woke up himself and realised he had doubled 3♣ to tell himself to lead clubs, which he did.  And the "Big Cat with 99 Lives" examined his options.

On a Diamond lead, there would be no story.  How do you become a bad defender?  Firstly, not listening to the bidding will surely help.  If West had asked what  3♣ was, he would have learned that Boris (who had forgotten his agreement, remember) had bid naturally, so he would have lead the unbid suit, Diamonds.  But...

On the small club lead, Boris looked a long time at dummy, probably trying to figure out how many lives he had already spent playing and making impossible contracts.  Could he survive yet again and fall on his feet?  Well, the lead seemed friendly, Boris ducked in dummy and now the bad news: East discarded a diamond. 

Count your tricks: two hearts, one diamond and three clubs equals six tricks!!  You need three more; where will they come from?  Boris won in hand, played a club to the king, and called for a heart.  East played low and Boris inserted the 10, what else?  HE NEEDS TRICKS!  The 10 won, he is up to seven tricks : three hearts, one diamond and three clubs.  Boris now thought for a long time, a very long time, toyed with the King of spades, then the nine, then the King again.  He decided on the nine of spades and ran it!  East won with the queen, and came back  with the queen of hearts.

With the heart return, you could sense the Big Cat starting to breathe a little: he had a chance to put his claws on yet another impossible contract, just because he is a thinking cat.  Boris won and played the king of spades, ducked all around (long pause by West).   Boris then ducked a diamond to East, who came back a third heart.  Boris won (West discarding a club), played a diamond to the Ace, and announced he would endplay West, making three.  The whole hand:



The position after the ace of diamond (lead in dummy, two tricks lost so far):



A club to the ace and another club put West in hand for a beautiful stepping-stone ending:



West has to play a spade to dummy for the ninth trick of this impossible contract: two spades, three hearts, one diamond and three clubs.  The defence made two spades, one diamond and one club.

The Big Cat withdrew his claws and smiled at me: "Beautiful hand", he said. East commented that Boris had no play from the start! Boris laughed like a kid.